Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

 Photo and joke submitted by Toni Rose (tonytarheel)

Blonde Joke of the Week

 

A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which horse was which.

A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested she notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, the blonde was very pleased and relieved to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black horse.

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

Beautiful blonde Cream Release, who also submitted this week's joke!

Blonde Joke of the Week

  A blonde decides to try to learn horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons.  She mounts the horse with great effort and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.  Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.  She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.  The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse attempting to throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.  She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.  As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

Dubble Trubble! - Part II

Victim #2: Zuriel Bedlam

When I discovered hot pornstar Zuriel Bedlam had a strapping new bod and he had a job as a waiter in the cafe that my Sis and I frequent, I called her right away.  We met for a coffee, situating ourselves right in front of the window.  Our buff waiter couldn't miss us sitting there all showered and fresh in our hot summer dresses.  Partee and I were ready for a night of steamy adventure and we had definite plans for this night..

It wasn't long before our beefy waiter made his way outside to take our orders.  You could just feel the excitement in the air.  I certainly could.. and I know Sis could, too..

Being the sharp and savvy women that we are, Partee and I rent a small flat above the cafe for relaxation and entertaining.  Wasting no time, we talked Zuriel into taking a break.  We led him up the back stair for a nice sunset visit  ;)

Once we were all settled, we suggested the late day heat might make us sleepy and maybe we should remove our dresses in order to stay cool.  And you know, Zuriel was so supportive and encouraging.  It was shaping up to be a nice little get together..

Well, the banter became a bit bawdy and the feeling in the room was palpably warmer.  I slipped onto the sofa with Zuriel and Sis and things just progressed easily from a friendly visit into an intimate encounter..

Before Partee and I knew what was happening, Zuriel had pushed us to our knees on the floor and he..  well, he..  well just see for yourselves!..

Wow, I was nearly overwhelmed by the force this chiseled man could deliver, but Sis saved me by holding me and coaxing him to go even harder and deeper..  Really, what are sisters for but to come to our aid in times of need?..

One good turn deserves another so I returned the favor, holding her while he had his way with her and then some..  I was very supportive of them both..

I quietly watched and learned as Partee expertly helped Zuriel through his Big Las Vegas Finish.  Because Round 2 was just about to begin.  My turn..

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

 It's me, I'm really blonde.  All that brunette stuff is just wigs.

The joke is also submitted by me this week.

Because I can.. It's my blog  :)

Blonde Joke of the Week

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

Blonding

 

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

 

 

 

Beautiful Blonde Faithkhaine

 

 

 

 

 

Blonde Joke of the Week

 Submitted by Adele Simondsen

 

 

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding.  He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window.  The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was!  Blue eyes, blonde, the works.  "I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am.  Could I see your drivers license?"

"What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer.  After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.

"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde.  "It's usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently.  After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute," said the cop and walked back to his car.

The officer called in to the dispatcher to run a check on the woman's license and registration.  After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?"  "Yes," replied the officer.  "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher.  "Uh... yes," replied the cop.

"Here's what you do," said the dispatcher.  "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."  "What? I can't do that.  Its... inappropriate," exclaimed the cop.  "Trust me. Just do it," said the dispatcher.

So the cop returned to the blonde's car, gave her back the license and registration and dropped his pants, just as the dispatcher said.  The blonde looked down and sighed..... "Ohh no... not another Breathalyzer......"

 

 

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

They might not all get posted, but I will feature the truly unique, funny, clever and entertaining.

 

 

 Beautiful blonde Mandylovsyou

Blonde Joke of the Week

 Submitted by Rachel Avro

 

 

 A blonde boards a plane and takes the first available seat.  The flight attendant, checking tickets, looks at the blonde woman's ticket and then tells her, "Ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class.  Please move to the back of the plane."  The blonde replies, "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job.  I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica."

 

The flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the blonde's response, tells another flight attendant what happened.  The second attendant approaches the blonde and asks her to move to the rear of the plane.  The blonde then repeats her response, "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job.  I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica."

 

By now the two flight attendants are steaming mad and they go to the co-pilot and tell him what is going on.  He comes back to where the blonde is sitting and leaning over he whispers something in her ear.

The two flight attendants are astonished to see the blonde abruptly get up from her seat and move to the back of the plane.  They look at each other and then at the co-pilot and ask him what he told her.  The co-pilot, feeling good about himself replies, "Oh, this happened a while back with another blonde.  I simply told the woman that the front half of the plane wasn't going to Jamaica."