Confidential Men: Mark Ivory

 Well.. I had just shot a selfie to post with the Blonde Joke of the Week, and so I was still a blonde when I noticed new-ish porn stud Mark Ivory talking in a group chat.  I thought what a great first victim Mark would make for my Confidential Men series and I IM'd him pronto.  He was bright and confident and fun and I was sold.  I asked, and he was so nice he came right to the studio for a little chat and photo shoot.

 When Mark arrived I realized how tall and strong and dark and just..  you know..  how good he looks.  I was standing there just looking at him in front of the nice new logo when he asked, "So, how do we do this?"  I didn't even say, "Any way you want," and I'm proud of that.  I did say, "I'll grab a quick photo of you with the logo - your 'arrival shot'."  And I did just that..  *click*

*     *     *

 Next, I brought Mark into the Male Room and we had a seat on the man couch as I prepared myself to begin the interview.  Mark seemed relaxed, though I have to admit I was bit squirmy myself.  And I asked him if he was comfortable because the room suddenly felt much warmer..  *click*

*     *     *

 Mark agreed that he felt the same heat, and he was thoughtful enough to slide over to me and peel off my dress.  To be fair, I quickly unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it right off of him.  None of this helped because we both felt even hotter then..  *click*

*     *     *

 Between the two of us we did find a way to work off that heat and let me tell you, it was long and hard work, but so very worth it.  The interview didn't really go as I had planned but I'm so happy that Mark came when I asked him to..  *click*

*     *     *

 Later that night as I drifted off into my sexy little dreams I committed myself to being much more professional next time.  And I really did mean it..

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

 Photo: Ali by Ali  ∙  Blonde Joke by Bane Caedus

Blonde Joke of the Week

Three pregnant ladies were sitting and having a chat - a blonde, a brunette and a red head.

The brunette claimed, "I know I am having a boy because I was on top."

The redhead added,  "I know I am having a girl because I was on the bottom."

The blonde burst into tears and when the other women asked her what was wrong she wailed, "I'm gonna have puppies!"

Confidential Men

A New Series Coming Soon to Confidential, featuring: Men!

 

Mmm.. that's right, I'll be inviting all sorts of men into the Confidential Studio 'Male Room' for a cozy chat and some candid photos.  We'll settle right down together on the Man Cave couch and conduct an interview.  Look for stars, newcomers and even some interesting men from outside the industry.  We'll chat about whatever seems hot and I'll snag a photo or two to share right here on the blog...fun!

~ Look for this series soon on Porn Star Confidential ~

Intergalactic SLUTS

It's here!  Season 1, Episode 9 "Betrayed" has been released.  Only one more episode to go for Season One.

I am fortunate to be playing the villain,  Mistress De Vil, in the movie series.  De Vil is an evil intergalactic slaver with her very own slave planet and she is decidedly NOT nice.  See just how bad she is in this episode!  Click over to Miss Emily's Studio blog to view this and all of the other eight episodes leading up to Number Nine:  Watch Intergalactic SLUTS here

Very special thanks to Emily for her amazing work on the concept, story, sets, directing, special effects, sound, editing and promotion.  Also to the hard working cast members who's commitment to such a long series along with their astounding stamina during all-night shoots has inspired me!

Here are some promo shots of the villain her bad self:

 Mistress De Vil

 

On Flickr Here

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

Sexy photo and joke submitted by Carter Holloway

Blonde Joke of the Week

A blind man enters a bar and finds his way to a barstool.  After ordering a drink and sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”  The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.

In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.  The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate.  What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter.  The woman to your right is a blonde and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister.  You still wanna tell that blonde joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

  Thinks "No Dress Code" means she can't wear a dress.

Photo and jokes submitted by Ali

(that's me)

And yes, I'm really a blonde.  All this 'brunette' you see in Second Life is just wigs.

 

Blonde Jokes of the Week

BLONDE Q&A:

Q: Why can't blondes be pharmacists?

A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Q: What is a blonde's blood type?

A: Pink glitter.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?

A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?

A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on.It's off.

Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after she has had sex?

A: She opens the car door.

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?

A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?

A: A know-it-all bitch.

 Q: What does a blonde do with her asshole in the evening?

A: Drops him off at band practice.

Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?

A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

*     *     *     *     *

If Lindsay Lohan made it through her cracked-out bleached-blonde lesbian jailbird phase,

you can make it through tomorrow.

You know what's hotter than a blonde? ABSOLUTELY nothing.

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

Photo and joke submitted by Moonie

Blonde Joke of the Week

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer.

She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire."

"What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally... a smart blonde joke. 

Newcomer Debut - Stacy Luik

Arriving at the SL Porn beach party last Saturday, I found a big crowd dancing away to the hypnotic sounds provided by DJ Zoey. I hopped onto the dance ball and started right in with greetings and looking around, some IM conversations and the usual party stuff.

As my gaze swung around I saw right beside me someone new. Stacy Luik had hopped onto the group dance as well. We had a little chat and she was very sweet.  I learned she was new to porn and I offered to help her get started a bit. As I gave her some pointers about how to meet people and learn who we all are and how to get going with her own Flickr account she was quite enthusiastic.

Stacy opened a Flickr page of her own right there and then. I offered to shoot a photo set and she was happy to accept. See now the results of that happenstance meeting and I'm sure you'll agree that Stacy has a future here in porn if she wants to pursue it - and she tells me that she does!

(Photographers and directors please note: Stacy was a very good model, always in the moment and very attentive, quick to change poses or clothing or whatever I asked of her.)

*     *     *

I invited Stacy to my home the next day. We relaxed at the little Tiki bar where we sipped champagne and talked about how to proceed with her shoot.

Between the champagne and the warm sun it wasn't long before Stacy was in a mood to pose and the tree swing in the backyard was the perfect spot to begin. As the shadows grew long and the sun began to set, I suggested we retire to the castle where there were some good spots for her to pose for a few more photos.

 

Once inside, we lounged in the study where I captured this lovely pic showing off Stacy's soft and sweet side. She was curious about the rest of the castle. I smiled and suggested we could check out the lowest level if she was feeling a little adventurous. "You mean brave?" she asked, and I led the way down.

Wide-eyed, Stacy learned that the lower level of the castle is really a dungeon with a wide assortment of what she called playthings. It seemed that she had left her RLV active and I just couldn't resist as Stacy quickly became a plaything herself. I think this is a nice picture to remember the visit by.

Let's say that as the evening progressed the photo shoot wound down and the visit wound up. This is the last photo that I captured that night. And Stacy needn't have worried at all. As my guest she was bound for a good time.

Mile High - Sneak Preview

Hello porn fans and welcome to this behind the scenes look at the new upcoming film from Miss Emily's Studio: The Mile High Club!  Including a virtual potpourri of hot porn stars, the theme is, well, sex in an airplane.  A fun short due for release soon.  In the meantime have a peek at the candid shots I snagged while on the set during filming..

 

 

 

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

  Darn! I forgot again!

Photo and joke submitted by Erika Thorkveld

Blonde Joke of the Week

  Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

  Photo and joke submitted by Rachel Avro

Blonde Joke of the Week

A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions).

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packages the frog and says, "Just follow the instructions carefully."

The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and position the frog in place.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the girl calls the pet store.

The man says, "I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over." Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there."

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

Payback

I took Rachel..  Because I could.  I took Rachel to my dungeon..  Because I wanted to.  Rachel had no say in the matter and I had no regard for her opinion anyway.  You see, Rachel had been acting up.  She was playing up her role in a shoot we did together where she was a cop and I was a hooker arrested by her..  And used by her.  So, I arranged a little payback scene.  I took a few photos to help me savor the adventure in days to come.  I'll share them here with you if you like.  Have a look..

 

Rachel..  taken..  subdued..  mine..  we begin

I rest awhile and consider my many options..  I decide to cage her above and let her stew.

I leave Rachel bound, caged and alone..  I go do a modeling shoot and some shopping.

I return in a few hours and take Rachel down from the cage..  We have a nice talk.

I explain her place to her and she seems to begin to understand but I want to be certain she gets it.

So we have a little sit-down and I cover!  Every!  Detail!  of Rachel's!  New!  Rules!

After which she behaves in just the fashion I desire.  She's trying to be a good girl.

It's a very long day of training and Rachel tires but I still have no regard for her opinion so we continue.

Long into the night we review Rachel's duties.. over and over and over again.

And wouldn't you know that by sunrise Rachel completely understands her place.

Payback is only a bitch if you're on the wrong side of it  ;)

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

 Photo and joke submitted by Toni Rose (tonytarheel)

Blonde Joke of the Week

 

A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which horse was which.

A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested she notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, the blonde was very pleased and relieved to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black horse.

Blonding

I love blonde jokes!  So send me your favorites via NoteCard inworld and I'll try to post the best of them.

Beautiful blonde Cream Release, who also submitted this week's joke!

Blonde Joke of the Week

  A blonde decides to try to learn horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons.  She mounts the horse with great effort and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.  Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.  She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.  The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse attempting to throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.  She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.  As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

Dubble Trubble! - Part II

Victim #2: Zuriel Bedlam

When I discovered hot pornstar Zuriel Bedlam had a strapping new bod and he had a job as a waiter in the cafe that my Sis and I frequent, I called her right away.  We met for a coffee, situating ourselves right in front of the window.  Our buff waiter couldn't miss us sitting there all showered and fresh in our hot summer dresses.  Partee and I were ready for a night of steamy adventure and we had definite plans for this night..

It wasn't long before our beefy waiter made his way outside to take our orders.  You could just feel the excitement in the air.  I certainly could.. and I know Sis could, too..

Being the sharp and savvy women that we are, Partee and I rent a small flat above the cafe for relaxation and entertaining.  Wasting no time, we talked Zuriel into taking a break.  We led him up the back stair for a nice sunset visit  ;)

Once we were all settled, we suggested the late day heat might make us sleepy and maybe we should remove our dresses in order to stay cool.  And you know, Zuriel was so supportive and encouraging.  It was shaping up to be a nice little get together..

Well, the banter became a bit bawdy and the feeling in the room was palpably warmer.  I slipped onto the sofa with Zuriel and Sis and things just progressed easily from a friendly visit into an intimate encounter..

Before Partee and I knew what was happening, Zuriel had pushed us to our knees on the floor and he..  well, he..  well just see for yourselves!..

Wow, I was nearly overwhelmed by the force this chiseled man could deliver, but Sis saved me by holding me and coaxing him to go even harder and deeper..  Really, what are sisters for but to come to our aid in times of need?..

One good turn deserves another so I returned the favor, holding her while he had his way with her and then some..  I was very supportive of them both..

I quietly watched and learned as Partee expertly helped Zuriel through his Big Las Vegas Finish.  Because Round 2 was just about to begin.  My turn..